Category Archives: baby

Is A Birthing Plan Necessary?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, people, including my doctor, asked me what my birthing plan was. My birthing plan was, well, to give birth. That is as far as I had gotten. In my second trimester I realized there was more than one way to deliver, which besides being confusing, was quite scary.

I am now pregnant with my second child. My birthing plan is, well, to give birth. Despite all the different methods of delivery I read about the first time around, I just went the old fashioned way. I am not sure I want to get all fancy with my birthing. I don’t think I want to have to follow some elaborate direction manual on the big day. Actually, I don’t think I could. I will be far too preoccupied with the task at hand to stop and think of the best way to do it.

Once again I want to show up at the hospital, lie on the bed, probably have an epidural, and give birth. I am not going to worry about my breathing exercises, as I will probably end up hyperventilating anyway. I am not going to try to give birth in a giant pool of water while I practice synchronized swimming. I am not going to perform complicated yoga tricks (as amusing as this may be for the staff). And I am certainly not going to execute any movements that could quite possibly be misconstrued as a Cirque Du Soleil audition.

I understand some women feel the need for birthing plans, especially since it makes them feel as though they have more control over the situation. However, despite the best laid plans, you may still end with an emergency c-section (and I do not wish this for anyone). You may still have the episiotomy you were hoping not to need. And in the end you will still get the beautiful baby you were waiting for. So yes, I mock the birthing plan, but really, each to his own.

Do you, or did you have a birthing plan? Did it help?

Pacifier Wars

At my daughter’s one year doctor’s appointment we were informed that we need to start weaning her off of her pacifier. We had no problem getting her to stop having a bottle and drink from sippy cups. She transitioned to adult food quite nicely. Several months later and we can barely get her to put her pacifier down for more than the time it takes her to eat.

I have tried distracting her in the hopes she does not notice when I sneak it away for extended periods of time. She notices within minutes. I would pretend I don’t know what she is searching for. She then shrieks at the top of her lungs and looks up at me with pleading eyes, knowing mommy is responsible for her lost pacifier. I give in and pop it in her mouth.

Eventually she will get over the pacifier. Right? I like to tell myself that, but sometimes I get a little doubtful when I go to the store, or park, and see four and five year olds still sucking on pacifiers. I don’t want her to start kindergarten with a pacifier in her mouth. I worry she will get teased by the other kids. Even more so I worry I will be judged by the other parents and her teachers. How irresponsible of us to allow our six year old to still satisfy her oral fixations with a pacifier! Don’t you know what that can lead to? When I hear people say things like that, I can’t help but think “you are talking about overeating and obesity. Right?”

Some parents are perfectly fine snatching the little pieces of plastic right out of their kids’ mouths as soon as they turn one. Others don’t care one way or another. I personally don’t know what to do. I dictate her bed time, what she eats, when she bathes, and various other routines. But when it comes to her eyes looking up at mommy begging for her paci, I relinquish it to her.

What do you think about children using pacifiers?

I Am A Bad Mommy


 

When you have kids something very interesting happens. Everyone starts judging you. Even those people who do not have children have some type of opinion on your parenting skills. First of all, there is no such thing as parenting skills. You don’t have any. You get them as time goes on, and by the time you have mastered a task, your kid has moved on to something new that you have no clue about. Your skill is now obsolete. For those of your with multiple children, you have some skills. Some things are the same from kid to kid, but, for the most part, your kids are different, so whatever one of them taught you is non-applicable for the second and so forth.

This morning, as I drop my daughter off with my mother, she informs me that I am feeding my child too healthfully. Really? Is someone really judging me for giving my daughter too many fruits and vegetables each day? My mother’s solution? Substitute her breakfast of fresh mashed peaches with peach jam. Also, my daughter apparently needs more carbs. Get rid of her broccoli with cheese that I packed for lunch (healthy carbs), and instead give her a hot dog (because that pasty white bun must be what she needs to grow). I could not believe my ears. Every fiber of my being wanted to scream with fury! Even my unborn son started kicking violently inside of me at the mention of what is to happen to his sister. I personally take criticism from my mother a lot worse than from strangers.

Today a lady at my work asked if I was starving my baby. I am tiny. I have always been tiny. My babies are tiny. And perfectly healthy. Until my mother’s diet sets in, at which point I will have to contend with childhood obesity and possibly type two diabetes. Is it alright to ask an overweight pregnant woman if she is perhaps eating too much? Think about that for a second.

Who knows how many other people out there judge me on a daily basis. Either I am not doing something right with my pregnancy, or with my already existing kid. The peanut gallery never ceases to exist, and comment. I am a parent. I will be judged. To someone out there at some point, I am a bad mommy.