Category Archives: child

Coming to Terms With Postpartum

I just gave birth yesterday. As they took Ducky away to get his vitals done I cannot rest. I am too elated to succumb to sleep just yet. Ask me tomorrow, and I will probably be regretting this. Also, I am pretty sure they will be bringing him back in a couple of minutes so I will probably be more productive writing than sleeping.
My excitement and joy is not just governed by the birth of my baby, or my ever-growing family. My happiness is brought by knowing that I most likely will not have postpartum depression. When I gave birth to my daughter last year I thought I knew what postpartum was. I was certain it meant you resented your child and could not take care of them. Well, I did not resent my daughter, and I could take care of her, so therefore I was fine. What I was not prepared for was that postpartum can often times emerge under different guises.
My postpartum came in the form of aspiring for perfection. I had an unrealistic image of what a mother and wife was supposed to be. Of course I fell short. Anyone would. The ideal was somewhere between a Stepford Wife, Mary Poppins and Heidi Klum. I might as well have tried morphing into the Easter Bunny while I was at it. Needless to say, placing such expectations on myself did not benefit anyone. Once reality started slowly sinking in I started viewing myself as incompetent and that is when the depression part began. My husband and I worked through it, but it was hard. In fact, the hardest part was considering post partum as an option and basically admitting that postpartum in itself meant I was not perfect.
This time around I am not going to try winning any Mommy of the Year Awards. I am going to give it my all, and if I happen to be nominated for the Mommy Oscars in the process, then it can be the cherry on top of everything. Does this mean postpartum cannot manifest itself in yet another way this time around? Of course not, but I will cross that bridge when and if I get to it. For now, I am just going to enjoy being a mommy to my new baby boy, as well as my toddler daughter.
Did postpartum affect you?

What Is Wrong With Having A Nanny?

Since when is there so much stigma attached to having a nanny? Recently it occurred to me that a lot of women hide the fact that they employ a nanny, or try to justify it whenever the topic comes up.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son and I realized daycare would start costing an arm and a leg, I looked into different nanny services to see if maybe for a comparable price we could get a nanny instead. Unfortunately, we had no such luck, and I found that qualified nannies who you would actually consider leaving with your children cost more than we were prepared to spend, and far more than our already overpriced daycare was charging.

Needless to say, I did not feel ashamed for looking for a nanny. I saw nothing wrong with the idea of another woman watching my children while I was away at work. But looking into it a bit further, the majority of women who do feel the negativity are the ones who do not work, and are using a nanny to help them throughout the day. For me this would be beyond a luxury, but I would never begrudge it to anyone else. As far as I am concerned, if you have that kind of money (and it must be nice), then why not make your day easier? Why not have some added help with the children? Sure, there are other women who do it all by themselves, and I have done it as well, but would I turn down having a nanny if I could? Absolutely not.

What is the big deal with nannies? Is it wrong to have a nanny if you are a stay at home mom?

 

When Is It Okay To Induce Labor?

In a couple of days I will be giving birth. Supposedly I am due July 28th. Last time my daughter arrived eight days early, so as far as I am concerned, I can go into labor any moment now. Frankly, I hope today is the day. I cannot wait to meet my son; the anticipation is almost too much to handle.

A friend of mine suggested I induce since she does it every time and it works for her. I cannot bring myself to do it. I am not suggesting inducing is a bad thing. To each their own. I am even okay with the women who schedule c-sections for no reason other than not wanting to deal with labor, or wanting their babies born on a specific date.

Just as I dislike how others judge me for using epidurals and pain meds, I am sure these women are tired of hearing comments from the peanut gallery about their particular choices. I do not want to discuss their choices, or pass judgment. I simply came to a personal conclusion; I cannot induce unless there is a medical reason for it. I think of pitocin (the drug used to induce) as a resource available if natural labor is not working, or if I happen well past my due date and there is some risk for the baby. I used pitocin when delivering my daughter because for whatever reason my body no longer wanted to cooperate, and I stopped dilating after seven centimeters. So close, yet so far.

I did not go to the hospital with the idea I would induce, or have to mess around with the natural progression of labor. I simply went into labor, and then labor came to a halt mid stream. Yet I was okay with it at that point. I accept intervention when things go awry. But as for actually being the catalyst, as much as I wish I was in the delivery room right now (and trust me, the urge is almost as bad as my craving for chocolate cake), I cannot bring myself to eliminate the element of surprise and excitement that comes during that moment when you realize it is finally happening. My baby and I are ready, and it is show time!

How do you feel about inducing?