Category Archives: children

Pacifier Wars

At my daughter’s one year doctor’s appointment we were informed that we need to start weaning her off of her pacifier. We had no problem getting her to stop having a bottle and drink from sippy cups. She transitioned to adult food quite nicely. Several months later and we can barely get her to put her pacifier down for more than the time it takes her to eat.

I have tried distracting her in the hopes she does not notice when I sneak it away for extended periods of time. She notices within minutes. I would pretend I don’t know what she is searching for. She then shrieks at the top of her lungs and looks up at me with pleading eyes, knowing mommy is responsible for her lost pacifier. I give in and pop it in her mouth.

Eventually she will get over the pacifier. Right? I like to tell myself that, but sometimes I get a little doubtful when I go to the store, or park, and see four and five year olds still sucking on pacifiers. I don’t want her to start kindergarten with a pacifier in her mouth. I worry she will get teased by the other kids. Even more so I worry I will be judged by the other parents and her teachers. How irresponsible of us to allow our six year old to still satisfy her oral fixations with a pacifier! Don’t you know what that can lead to? When I hear people say things like that, I can’t help but think “you are talking about overeating and obesity. Right?”

Some parents are perfectly fine snatching the little pieces of plastic right out of their kids’ mouths as soon as they turn one. Others don’t care one way or another. I personally don’t know what to do. I dictate her bed time, what she eats, when she bathes, and various other routines. But when it comes to her eyes looking up at mommy begging for her paci, I relinquish it to her.

What do you think about children using pacifiers?

Reasons Your Child Is Not A Rodent

When you have small children along with pets running around your house, it is tempting to group them together. Especially for the following reasons:

They are both cute and cuddly

Just like your cats, your kids will make loud, shriek like noises when they want food or drink

You have to change diapers and litter on a regular basis

Toys for small children bare an uncanny resemblance to doggy toys

Your children may be biters

Once your children get teeth, early on they look a little like beavers

This may make you feel as if you are a bad parent. Comparing your kid to a rodent and/or house pet probably does not win you the Mommy of the Year Award. No matter how endearingly you may think of it.

Last night at bedtime as my daughter screamed like a banshee for several hours, I heard Samuel L. Jackson in my head. Again, no awards will be handed out here. Except to Samuel L. Jackson for a wonderful narration, and of course Adam Mansbach for writing quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read.

But really, what all this got me thinking of is how quickly my daughter is growing up. I no longer can compare her to the house pets or backyard pests. She is a person onto herself. A tiny force to be reckoned with. She is opinionated, vocal, and she can now crawl faster than I can run. She has a head full of hair (that she will absolutely not allow me to style). She tries to pick out her own clothes, and thus ends up wearing stripes and polka dots on a regular basis. She understands what my husband and I tell her, and then promptly disregards it. Her favorite word is “no” and will adamantly shake her head at everything.

Where is the chipmunk I gave birth to?

A Mother With Control Issues



We have all read the articles telling us that anorexia is not really about eating, but about control. Of course there is much more to it than my extremely simplified statement. But I am not here to talk about anorexia.

I am a self proclaimed control freak. I have dealt with the issue in various ways. Years ago in college anorexia was not off the table. Getting rid of my eating disorder did not eliminate my root problems regarding control. For years after finally admitting that I had a problem and working to solve it I feared relapsing into my old ways.

Having kids cured me. Once I was realized how much my kids depend on me I knew I could not become anorexic again. My babies depended on me in the womb for nourishment, and once born they continued depending on me for milk. I knew an anorexic, malnourished body could never hold up to their little demands. I needed to be strong for my children. Further, I needed to be a role model for my children, especially my daughter. Young children mimic everything they see in the home, and that is one behavior I do not wish for her to come into contact with at such an early age.

I no longer fear relapsing into anorexia, but I am still a control freak. Having kids has not cured me of it, but instead has helped me channel my control issues in a different direction. I compulsively clean. It is extremely difficult for me to not clean my house when needed. I have gotten better at it, restricting my cleaning compulsions to only once or twice a week. But I still cannot leave dishes in the sink over night. I have to clean the kitchen after dinner. I need to put things away after I use them.

Part of me wants to believe my cleaning disorder (which is what I am choosing to call it, and is probably not an actual diagnosis), will be beneficial to my children. Seeing their mom put things away and growing up in a tidy house will most likely teach them to be clean themselves. Part of me wonders what it will be like when they are teenagers throwing their clothes, along with everything else, on the floor. What will my reaction be? I would like to think that I will be somewhat tolerant and understanding. I want to believe I may no longer have such control issues by then and all out war will not break loose in our house.

My only solution now is to take it one day at a time. As long as all the cleaning does not drive me completely insane, there is nothing wrong with having a tidy home.

What have your kids taught you about your compulsions?