Category Archives: children

The Weekend Review and Pacifier Business

This week I had a five day weekend. It so coincided that Monday was a holiday, I generally don’t work Fridays, and I needed to take a day off (Tuesday) because I had accrued too many vacation days (which is what happens when I never use my vacation days except around the winter holidays). Apparently I have over two months of vacation time saved up. 

While it was extremely relaxing  to have five straight days off (seriously I could get used to this), I managed to find ways to fill up my day.
For instance, this weekend I took the meaning of marathon shopping to a whole new level and direction. As opposed to the traditional idea where I would spend eight hours at the mall, I spent only about twenty minutes shopping and several hours walking twelve miles to and from the mall. I had the kids with me in the stroller and they both seemed very amused. I also believe they took several naps along the way. However, they did not nap at the mall, which might have prolonged the actual time I spent shopping. Perhaps that is for the best.
I too took several naps throughout my long weekend. I think that was my favorite part. After spending the last couple of weeks operating on an average of four hours of sleep per night, this was very exciting. I felt like a cat.
However, I still have school. In fact I will be at school all five days this week. That is what happens when you take so many classes that all of your professors’s office hours overlap with other professors’s classes. Thank goodness most of them are kind enough to accommodate this. One professor was so nice she met with me at ten thirty at night after my last class got out.
I enjoy school for the most part. Even when I gripe about it, academia as a whole makes me happy. Except for this exam thing I have to take next month. Either I am slow, or it hasn’t been fully explained. One more month and for better or worse it will be over. I know, let’s play a game! Let’s estimate how many panic attacks I will have between now and then. I promise, it will be fun!
And now I am going to completely jump topics and talk about my son. Really, there was no seamless way of doing that. Blatantly announcing the topic change was the best I could do. So as of Friday Ducky has had his pacifier taken away. He has gotten to an age where he really shouldn’t have one. According to me. According to his pediatrician I should have taken it away months ago. I am just not that mean. And I am totally surprised by the results. I was anticipating sleepless screaming nights (because Munchie was very upset when I took hers away), but he actually slept better. He has not looked for it or asked for it once. I am simultaneously confused and delighted. If I had known it would be this easy I would have done it when the pediatrician told me to. Maybe I should have known better.
Eh.
When you have kids something very interesting happens. First of all, you realize there are no such things as parenting skills. You don’t have any. You get them as time goes on, and by the time you have mastered a task, your kid has moved on to something new that you have no clue about. Your skill is now obsolete. For those of your with multiple children, you have some skills. Some things are the same from kid to kid, but, for the most part, your kids are different, so whatever one of them taught you is non-applicable for the second, and so forth.
For someone who has two kids, I am in no way qualified to give you any kind of advice. Except for suggestions and anecdotes of what worked for me. So, if your kid is four years old and is still sucking on a pacifier, well, one day they will figure out there is a piece of plastic in their mouth. If you are not ready to take it away from them, then there is no reason you should have to. If there is anything I can assure you of is that your kid will, of their own volition, give up the pacifier.
Also, most things that parents freak out about will actually correct themselves. A lot of people forget that we are genetically encoded for certain things to happen. For example, your kid will walk and talk. If they don’t, it has nothing to do with anything you did. Speech and motor skills develop separately from outside sources. They may be expedited at times, but for the most part they are the stable mechanisms of child behavior. Meaning you can’t possibly screw up your child to the point they won’t function properly. They will. Although I didn’t learn any specifics from having two children, as in I can’t tell you what the best method of (fill in the blank) is, because I don’t know your child individually, I can tell you that generally speaking, as long as you do the best you can, your child will turn out fine. Really.
Even when you leave their pacifier in for three months too long.

Oh Silliness…

I did such an amazing job hiding the kids’ Christmas gifts, I don’t remember where I put them. I feel like a squirrel. Running around, hiding nuts. Except squirrels have better memories. Do squirrel’s give each other nuts for Christmas? Maybe some pecans or cashews. Not the everyday fair. I could probably do some research on squirrel Christmas habits. Fascinating business. I bet people would be lining up to read that.
The big gifts are easy to find. They are oddly shaped, and placed just above the children’s eye levels. So basically I put everything on the coffee table. It is the small trinkets that give me trouble. I thought I was being very clever and inventive with my hiding spots. Apparently I was, and outsmarted myself.
I will now spend the next several hours scavenging my house. Knowing me I probably put stuffed everything just out of reach in the children’s closet.
Speaking of their closet, I stopped at Target on the way home. I went in for frozen pizza and accidentally ended up in the little girl’s clothing section. They had some adorable little dresses that would look very nice on Munchie. Unfortunately they were around $100, and I couldn’t justify spending that for something she will only wear once for a few hours.
Now, I know what you are thinking, women do that all the time. Yes, you are right. But we can justify the purchase because we can tell ourselves that we will wear it “all the time!” And there are no physical restraints preventing this from becoming reality. I can still fit into the dress I bought for Heather’s wedding four years ago. Have I worn it since? No. But if I want to wear it, I have that option. Little girl’s clothing is different. I cannot trick myself into believing that this dress “is totally worth it because it will get a lot of use.” In a few months Munchie will outgrow it. So basically I can’t delude myself into shopping.
However, I did see this:
There are two things wrong with this jacket. It is too big for Munchie. It is too small for me.
And I think I remember where I put the children’s gifts. I will need a ladder.

They Say She Looks Like Me…

I am working on a major project at work, which has drained me and left me looking vacuous on most occasions at best. The other day, after having been at work for over eleven hours without a break, I finally pushed the papers away and sat there for a moment with my eyes closed. A co-worker from a different department walked into my office to see how I was doing. I didn’t hear her (you know I am tired when I start losing my hearing) (I am not even sure that is physically possible).
“Do you have any idea how fabulous you are?” I was too tired to fully understand what she was asking. I mumbled something incoherent, akin to thank you, and do you happen to have any coffee in your purse?
We started talking, and it was so nice to stop focusing on work for a second. She noticed the new pictures I put on my desk (me and Ducky, Munchie and Ducky), and she told me how beautiful my children are. Yes, my Duck is very handsome, and Munchie, albeit only two, is striking in her own way. I have a difficult time picturing what she will look like when she grows up. Some say she looks like me. I haven’t the slightest clue. I don’t see me. I see her. Well, this isn’t exactly true. She is long and lean like me. Both kids have my exact natural hair color. But that is where the similarities stop.
People assume Munchie will be beautiful because they see me as so. But then I think about my own mother. I pale in comparison. For those of you who know me and my family, no, I don’t mean now. I mean across time. When my mother was my age and younger (and even older) she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, and most will say that she looked even better in person than in pictures. I don’t think that is possible. Because if she looked any better than in those pictures I am pretty sure people would have gone blind looking at her.
So when people tell me that they hope Munchie grows up to resemble me, I hope she inherits my ambition, drive, strength and will. Physically, I hope she looks like my mother.