Category Archives: grad school

And Done

This isn’t really a post, but more like a mini rant.

I have submitted the last of my grad school applications. A process that I never thought would end is now over. Well, as over as it is going to get. Now I wait.

Waiting is hard, but as long as I don’t think about it the months will pass and I will hear back, for better or worse. I guess this is no different than my test results, where all I could do was wait.

As I submitted the last one I realized it is all out of my hands at this point. I thought I would feel anxiety, but instead I feel relief.

It is over. I will never have to do this again. Oh my God, I will never have to do this again!

The process was as time consuming as an actual semester in school, and took just as long. Writing samples, statements of purpose, resumes, actual applications, and several other components. All neatly put together in electronic packets for each school.

And now I am off to distract my friend from writing about Austen with wine, tapas, champagne and flatbreads. She needs a break, and what kind of a friend would I be otherwise?

A Convoluted Process

I am beginning to think the doctoral program application process is more convoluted than the program itself will ever be.

Nothing they are asking is difficult, just so unbelievably annoying.

Every little step requires numerous forms that to me seem superfluous. I am sure they have their reasons, but I am not understanding them.

For example, a couple of the schools want my references to fill out a form summarizing their letters of recommendation. This reminds me of when I have students come to my office and say “I just got an email from your office, what does it say?” Um… why didn’t you just read the email? Similarly, why don’t they just read the letter?

These same schools have cover forms they want attached to my transcripts. As you can imagine, these cover forms summarize what is in my transcript. Just open the transcript! I work at a college, and part of my job requires evaluating transcripts from other institutions. I have seen thousands of them, and can look at a transcript and figure out what is going on within seconds. I am sure the admissions people at these other schools are just as capable. The forms themselves aren’t so cumbersome except that having them requires me to physically go back to each of my academic institutions and hand them to the registrar to enclose with my transcript.

I remember when my friends were going through this process years back, flying all across the country to procure transcripts in this fashion. I would ask them why they couldn’t just order them online or over the phone. Now I see.

Thankfully no cross country treks will be needed. And not all institutions have these requirements.

One school wants my CV. Um, I don’t have one. And I don’t mean I don’t physically have one made, but rather, I don’t have one. At first I thought they wanted my resume, but then realized they want my resume *and* a CV. While I have a pretty decent resume, in lieu of a CV I can just hand them a post-it note.

I understand the reasoning behind cover letters/letters of intent. That makes perfect sense. But a cover letter *of* my letter of intent? This goes with the whole “summary of the letters of recommendation” business. Why do you need a cover letter of my letter of intent? Just the instructions for such a thing should signal its redundancy.

Throw in a few extensive exams, writing samples, and full biographical information since birth and the application process has now taken more time and energy than a full college course.

Can’t I just barter and offer them my first born instead?

In My Head

Today I started working on my statement of purpose for doctoral programs. And by this I mean I started agonizing over it in my head without actually writing anything. So far so good.

One of the schools I am applying to would like to know what I intend to bring to their campus. Well, for starters I plan to always bring a cute purse and shoes. I will sometimes bring my own coffee. But for the most part I plan on becoming a frequent patron of the lovely coffee shop on campus that I have heard so much about.

Oh I see. I think they want to know what I plan on bringing academically. In that case, I plan on bringing my exuberance and love of learning. I completely intend to use the doctoral program to launch a career where I will enthusiastically dedicate my life to studying and writing about an amazing literary work that basically amounts to a giant camping trip. And I am perfectly happy with that.

There was a time I briefly flirted with the idea of becoming a Colridgean. I was in my early twenties and Coleridge was exotic. I know, I know. This is not a common sentiment. Most of you would probably attribute many adjectives to Coleridge without ever hitting on exotic or any of its synonyms. But I saw him as the literary Audobon.

Ok, let me back up.

In 11th grade my history teacher had a fascination with Audobon. She had posters of his works all over the classroom, and never missed an opportunity to tell us a bit about him. His most famous works were paintings and drawings of birds. He had a keen sense for capturing their nature, however, in his later works, for which he is most famous, his birds were so well displayed on paper because Audobon was an amazing taxidermist. One critic stated that Audobon used his art to infuse life into his subjects. With pencils and paint he managed to resurrect his birds for all to see, and give them more life than they ever actually had.

Now think about Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Literary Audobon. See, it all makes sense.

Returning to the statement of purpose, where I will absolutely not mention any of these ramblings – as whimsical as they may be – I am still not sure where to begin. I think I know what I want to do, but it seems so far fetched I dare not mention it. At least not until they know me a bit better. Admissions people are awfully skittish. So I have placed myself in quite the little corner. Hence all the agonizing. Which now is technically no longer solely in my head since I am blogging about it, and therefore sort of on paper, or at least written out.

This will be a most interesting experiment. In what? I don’t know yet.