Category Archives: kids

Child Ban? OK Sometimes

I have been reading all the debates about small children being banned from some restaurants and other private establishments in recent days. I have two small children, a sixteen months old, and a five day old. Honestly, I kind of agree with the decrees.
A lot of parents are terribly disgruntled, but you have to stop and think about the non-parents. Or the parents who are out on their own. When my husband and I go out on our date nights, it is our little private escape. And lets face it, we are mostly escaping the kids. Don’t get me wrong, we love our children, but once in a while we like adult time. So I do not want to go to dinner and hear children crying and screaming.
There are certain places children just should not be. From a non-parents point of view, the list is perhaps on the long side, but they are entitled to their quiet time as well. I mean, that is why they most likely don’t have children. So before you pack up junior to hit up the fancy sushi joint that just opened down the street, think of everyone else at the establishment as well. It is not selfish to want some quiet time, especially if having children was not your choice to begin with. If it was, then you probably went to great lengths to get someone to watch them for the evening, so you don’t want to have to watch someone else’s.
What do you think? Should kids be allowed everywhere?

Am I Neglecting My Daughter?

It has been four days since I gave birth to my son. As I am sitting up at three in the morning feeding him, I realize I am missing my daughter. Granted it has been less than a week, I feel as if I have abandoned her. At first I thought it was just me being hormonal, but then hearing my husband echo my sentiments in that he feels he is abandoning his newborn son, I felt a little more justified.
My husband has always been my daughter’s favorite parent. She is a complete daddy’s little girl. But I still had special routines with her that provided us with quality mommy daughter time. We took our walks in the mornings, we ate our snacks together, we had bath time, and bed time. Since my little Ducky was born I have only spent a handful of minutes with my daughter. Is this how it is going to be from now on? She gets me second tier only if her younger brother doesn’t immediately need me? I should hope not.
Is my husband never going to have more than a few minutes with his son? I am sure several years from now this will in fact change, and both kids will have both parents all the time. But for now, I feel as though my daughter is getting replaced (which I hope is not how she is feeling). I am optimistic that all the extra attention my husband has been giving her makes up for any lost time with mommy.
Did you feel this way when having a second child?

P.S. That is an actual photo of my son.

Coming to Terms With Postpartum

I just gave birth yesterday. As they took Ducky away to get his vitals done I cannot rest. I am too elated to succumb to sleep just yet. Ask me tomorrow, and I will probably be regretting this. Also, I am pretty sure they will be bringing him back in a couple of minutes so I will probably be more productive writing than sleeping.
My excitement and joy is not just governed by the birth of my baby, or my ever-growing family. My happiness is brought by knowing that I most likely will not have postpartum depression. When I gave birth to my daughter last year I thought I knew what postpartum was. I was certain it meant you resented your child and could not take care of them. Well, I did not resent my daughter, and I could take care of her, so therefore I was fine. What I was not prepared for was that postpartum can often times emerge under different guises.
My postpartum came in the form of aspiring for perfection. I had an unrealistic image of what a mother and wife was supposed to be. Of course I fell short. Anyone would. The ideal was somewhere between a Stepford Wife, Mary Poppins and Heidi Klum. I might as well have tried morphing into the Easter Bunny while I was at it. Needless to say, placing such expectations on myself did not benefit anyone. Once reality started slowly sinking in I started viewing myself as incompetent and that is when the depression part began. My husband and I worked through it, but it was hard. In fact, the hardest part was considering post partum as an option and basically admitting that postpartum in itself meant I was not perfect.
This time around I am not going to try winning any Mommy of the Year Awards. I am going to give it my all, and if I happen to be nominated for the Mommy Oscars in the process, then it can be the cherry on top of everything. Does this mean postpartum cannot manifest itself in yet another way this time around? Of course not, but I will cross that bridge when and if I get to it. For now, I am just going to enjoy being a mommy to my new baby boy, as well as my toddler daughter.
Did postpartum affect you?