Category Archives: mother

A Mother With Control Issues



We have all read the articles telling us that anorexia is not really about eating, but about control. Of course there is much more to it than my extremely simplified statement. But I am not here to talk about anorexia.

I am a self proclaimed control freak. I have dealt with the issue in various ways. Years ago in college anorexia was not off the table. Getting rid of my eating disorder did not eliminate my root problems regarding control. For years after finally admitting that I had a problem and working to solve it I feared relapsing into my old ways.

Having kids cured me. Once I was realized how much my kids depend on me I knew I could not become anorexic again. My babies depended on me in the womb for nourishment, and once born they continued depending on me for milk. I knew an anorexic, malnourished body could never hold up to their little demands. I needed to be strong for my children. Further, I needed to be a role model for my children, especially my daughter. Young children mimic everything they see in the home, and that is one behavior I do not wish for her to come into contact with at such an early age.

I no longer fear relapsing into anorexia, but I am still a control freak. Having kids has not cured me of it, but instead has helped me channel my control issues in a different direction. I compulsively clean. It is extremely difficult for me to not clean my house when needed. I have gotten better at it, restricting my cleaning compulsions to only once or twice a week. But I still cannot leave dishes in the sink over night. I have to clean the kitchen after dinner. I need to put things away after I use them.

Part of me wants to believe my cleaning disorder (which is what I am choosing to call it, and is probably not an actual diagnosis), will be beneficial to my children. Seeing their mom put things away and growing up in a tidy house will most likely teach them to be clean themselves. Part of me wonders what it will be like when they are teenagers throwing their clothes, along with everything else, on the floor. What will my reaction be? I would like to think that I will be somewhat tolerant and understanding. I want to believe I may no longer have such control issues by then and all out war will not break loose in our house.

My only solution now is to take it one day at a time. As long as all the cleaning does not drive me completely insane, there is nothing wrong with having a tidy home.

What have your kids taught you about your compulsions?

Diary Of A Sexy Mother

Everywhere I look it seems someone has a problem with mothers or expecting mothers looking, acting, or feeling sexy. Newsflash: we are still women. Sure we now have added responsibilities, and granted, some things really should not be worn in public (whether you are a mother or not), but the reality of it is, we are still the fun loving, sexy creatures we were before children.The saddest part is that most of the people conveying displeasure with how moms dress are women themselves. Some of them are mothers as well. Would it be more suitable if new mothers were only allowed to wear potato sack looking ensembles?

I see women like Rachel Zoe and Elle Macpherson and consider them an inspiration. Each day I take the time to make myself look and feel attractive. In a couple of months, after I give birth to my second child, you better believe I am getting right back into my skinny jeans! As for my high heels and flirty tops, they never went away. Sure, my feet are swollen, restricting some of my options, and I have a considerable baby bump, but so does Natalie Portman. It hasn’t stopped her from looking stylish on the red carpet.

I am awe struck at how beautiful Ivanka Trump looked in her recent Bazaar photo shoot. Some considered her skanky and questioned her audacity to don such apparel while obviously pregnant. I see it as a testament to herself as a woman. She is emphasizing her feminine qualities, the very same qualities that aided her in becoming a mother to begin with. Mothers were women, are women, and should continue being seen as such and feeling as such.

3 Things Every Pregnant Woman Needs

I am pregnant. Not disabled. I appreciate all the people who want to hold doors for me, help me carry my coffee to my car (yes, coffee), and I especially thank all of the nuggets of wisdom I receive from people who I have never met in regards to issues which do not concern them.
Please don’t get me wrong, I truly am thankful for any and all additional help I am receiving. I will be the first to admit it is difficult being pregnant while also carrying for a fourteen months old baby.
All that I ask is to not be treated as though I should be in a wheel chair, donning a hospital gown while everyone refers to the “condition” I am in. I am a grown woman, capable of making informed decisions. This is not my first pregnancy, so I was well aware of what I was getting myself into, and judging from my beautiful daughter, I think I did okay the first time around.
Here are some things I never gave up while pregnant, or after, and I have no intention of exnaying in the future.1. High Heels.
I have been wearing high heels since I was old enough to walk. My feet are practically shaped in the form of swanky Manolo Blahniks. Not to mention I can just about run a marathon in the darn things while inadvertently breaking some sort of record, without breaking my neck, mind you.

2. Make-Up.
I concede that now, as a mother, I no longer have the time or wont for many frivolous beauty treatments. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I got anything as basic as a manicure. Yet I cannot fathom any reason to appear in public as if I just rolled out of bed. Sure, I am glowing in my third trimester, but my skin is also blotchy due to all the hormones, and after I slather on a few layers of sun block, my glowing complexion now looks greasy and unkempt. So please stop insinuating that somehow my daughter will be traumatized by the few minutes she has to entertain herself in the morning while I attempt to make myself look decent. In fact, she is having a blast hanging out with daddy in the kitchen while she has her snacks. As for my unborn son, he will be fine too.

3. Coffee.
Of course I decreased my caffeine intake as soon as I found out I was pregnant. “Decreased” being the operative term. When I was pregnant with my daughter I swore of coffee immediately. However, I then realized coffee was not the perpetrator of my caffeine intake. I was getting so much caffeine from soda, chocolate, and tea, the cup or so of coffee I was having in the morning was quite innocuous. This time around I kept the coffee and ditched some of the other culprits. I managed to decrease my overall caffeine intake while still blissfully enjoying my steaming cup in the morning, and all with my doctor’s consent. So please stop glaring at me at Starbucks. I assure you, I am not slowly harming my unborn child.