Category Archives: music

A Song

KCRW played this song several times this last week. I loved it the first time I heard it, but they never advertised the artist. You would think it would be a simple Google search, but no. Finally I found it, and when I saw the video, I loved the song even more. (Also, their other music is just as good).Here it is.

Also, for whatever reason, the end reminds me of Kafka. Strange.

Enjoy.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/ConfessionsFromTheCrib

Mix Tapes and Photographs

The GRE is tomorrow. I studied a bit today, but I think it is for the best that I stop. So I found ways to keep my mind off of the exam.

I was boxing stuff up and I found an old cigar box with mix tapes. Sean used to make these for me many years ago. This was before iTunes was around, so if you liked one song you had to buy the whole album, and CDs cost about $20 each, and I was working for minimum wage at around $5 an hour (it may have been less than that, but I don’t remember exactly). I still can’t listen to B-52’s Roam without thinking of Sean and those tapes. I remember one of them had the Cranberries on it. Van Halen on a third. Nirvana was either one of the same tapes, or accompanying something else.

The tapes are old, and their boxes are long lost, hence I have no idea what any of them contain. I also have no way of playing them. My car at the time was the reason for the tapes. I was driving a Daewoo that had a tape player, but no CD player. So instead of making me mix CDs he made me tapes. I used to drive a lot and I liked my music.

In fact I remember driving with Sean late one night. I was blasting Blondie, singing along to One Way or Another, and we were looking for something to eat. We ended up at the In and Out on Ventura (and something). Maybe I am conflating memories, but I think this was right after he had gotten his tattoo of the barcode. The skin was still raised, and I was playing with it. I had never seen a fresh tattoo before.

One time we sat in a parking lot listening to the Roam tape. We didn’t really have the same taste in music so he wanted to get out and walk. As we walked across the lot he found a little kitty charm someone must have dropped. He picked it up and gave it to me. I put it on my purse. Packing up more stuff I found that purse, and the charm is still attached. A gold kitty with a pink ribbon.

I also found the cigar box with old floppy disks. These I knew I had. I vaguely remember what is on them – dozens of pictures Tanya took when we were in high school. A lot of them have pictures of the cats and kittens I had at my parents’ house. Some pictures of me and Tanya doing random things. And there are a few of them from the time Tanya and I went to a shop and she had me try on all sorts of wigs. I haven’t seen these pictures in well over a decade, but I can say with certainty that neon hair does not suit me. If I remember correctly there are several pictures of me wearing a glittery green wig, followed by a pink shimmery one, and about half a dozen others in quick succession.

I wonder what else I will find.

 

Dancing in Lingerie

I recently read an article in a psychology journal that correlated confidence with sexuality in women. The study was conducted over a three months period, and 800 women were asked to rate how good they felt about themselves when they thought they looked sexually arousing. You may well guess the results. However, what the study had not anticipated, and the reason it probably even got published, was another coloration between endorphins and sexuality. Confidence (real or perceived) was simply the biproduct. In other words these women didn’t feel good about themselves, or exuded confidence because they looked sexy, but rather looked sexy because they felt good, which was in turn brought about my endorphins from external sources (unrelated to the way they looked, or anything having to do with the study).A secondary study piggybacked off of this one, and measured the different degrees of self satisfaction brought about by several activities, basically trying to find if all endorphins are equal. And of course they are not. For example, I am a runner. After I go for a run I have more endorphins than I know what to do with. This satisfies the second part of the first study – I feel good through a flow of endorphins that is not related to the way I look. However, it does not fulfill the first part of the study. I may have tons of endorphins, but I guarantee that when I come back from running I am far from sexually arousing. The researchers caught this little glitch as well, and thus were determined to figure out which activities release the most endorphins for optimal female sexuality.

It turns out women respond best to fashion and music. Both of these activities (wearing pretty things and dancing), scored the highest independently on the endorphin scale. So why not combine them? That is exactly what they did, but they took it a step further. As opposed to getting the women all dressed up, they focused on lingerie. Essentially several hundred women wore lingerie, danced around their homes, and then reported back how they felt. Apparently they all felt great.

I am simplifying things here, but the study was actually quite in depth, and took different factors into consideration (i.e. the difference between dancing around in a pretty dress as opposed to lingerie, or the difference between dancing by yourself or in a group setting, etc.).

Psychology journals are like Cosmo mags for me. Except instead of trying the newest summer fashions, I try and emulate actual research studies. I opened up my lingerie drawer and found all the items intact, with tags attached. I have never bought or worn lingerie before, but I have received quite the collection from friends for various occasions (birthdays, bridal showers, weddings, etc.). I had almost forgotten I had half of these. I picked the prettiest one for this experiment. Honestly, I was skeptical as ever, and decided that at the very least I can say I spent the evening in my finest lingerie.

Why did I do this? Because the kids were asleep, and I can. I wasn’t aware I needed more reason than that. So… why not?

At first I felt ridiculous. Then I got the music going, and I have to say, this was one of the best nights I have had in a long time. I can’t say I am feeling particularly sexy, but it was definitely an experience. I am currently a little ball of euphoric giddyness.

If you too would like to experience this (with or without the lingerie part), here is my playlist: