Category Archives: shopping

Where Have All the Knee Length Dresses Gone?

This weekend I went shopping. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, I was just trying to update my summer wardrobe a bit since I spent the last two summers either pregnant or recovering from being pregnant.
My how fashion has changed. I love wearing skirts in the summer months, and I thought I would look around for some trendy new ones. Since I spend the majority of my time at work I wanted to find something that was also work appropriate. Apparently the definition of work appropriate attire has also changed.
I was looking for something knee length. I am no doctor, so anatomical precision wasn’t my biggest concern. I would settle for anything within the general vicinity of my knees. It seems in the last couple of years all the real estate in knee territory has been sold and the hemlines were forced to migrate far north. I definitely could not wear any of the dresses I found at work. In fact, I am pretty sure I should not be wearing those dresses anywhere. Society would benefit.
I found multiple really cute tops. I got a new sweater. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking of finding a dress or skirt. I found one. I snatched it off the rack and sure enough it was in my size. And it was knee length! Unfortunately it is also strapless. Which means I will be having to wear a cardigan over it. I was beginning to think there is a new rule that mandates only so much material be used to fabricate a dress. Since this one was considerably longer than the rest it compensated by having no sleeves. But I have to admit it is easier to put on a cardigan than to try and invent a new fad for thigh warmers. Which is what I would need with the other options on the market.
My theory on “only so much material be used to fabricate a dress” was proven wrong only a few hours into my shopping trip. There seemed to be an abundance of dresses and skirts made for women much larger than me in every dimension. Even in my four inch heels these dresses would drag on the ground. And as for the waist? I would have to use every belt in my collection to keep these things from falling down. Yes, they were long, far longer than knee length. And they were made of the flowey, soft material I sought after. But I am not sure how many alterations these dresses could sustain and still maintain their style and shape. Also, their abundance made me think that maybe there aren’t that many women made to fit into them.
Even though I made out with tons of cute tops, I still felt like I should write a strongly worded letter to someone in fashion. Because either they don’t work in an office, or they haven’t gone out lately to see what real women look like. Possibly both.
In the meantime I will make due with my new dress/skirt and billion tops to go with it.

Accidental Shopping…

I accidentally went Easter shopping. In May. Well, almost May. It is the end of April. And by accidentally I don’t mean I bought stuff that I didn’t realize was Easter related until I got home. No, I went to CVS (local drug store for all you not from around here), to look at some new eye shadow I saw advertised on TV. While there I saw some cute nail polish that was on sale. I figured, why not. On my way to the register I saw some cute flip flops. They were also on sale. So I was obligated to get them.
I was proudly lugging all all my loot to the cash register when I happen to walk by the major sale aisle. Meaning the seasonal stuff that is no longer in season. Like Easter stuff a month later. I knew it had to be severely discounted, but there were no signs advertising the mark down. I noticed a few pretty cool things so when I got up to the register I casually inquired about the sale.
Me: What is the price on the Easter stuff?
Clerk: 75% off.
Me: Holly Guac! SQUAW!!
I squealed, jumping up and down in delight as I pranced over to the aisle and pretty much bought everything except the candy. I mean, if it is old now I can only imagine how bad it will hold until next year. Which is what I was buying all this stuff for. I was being proactive and resourceful, shopping early for Easter. Eleven months early. Hubby will be so proud of me!
In retrospect I should have bought a few of the chocolate bunnies. Not for next year! Eww! For now, as I am typing this. Some chocolate would have been nice.
Anyway, as I was giddily making my purchase I never took into account how I was going to get any of this stuff home. I live about a mile and a half away from the CVS, so I walked there. It was a beautiful day and I had originally planned to just buy some eye shadow. Now I had a giant Easter basket, a slightly smaller Easter basket, two very small Easter baskets, several packs of plastic eggs, and a talking rabbit (battery operated, I am not hallucinating), who is now officially named Andrew Jackson (if you saw him in person you would totally get this).
My friend Tanya was with me, and helped me with a couple of the bags, but that still left me with two more bags and a giant Easter basket. I was too excited to care, so I just threw the basket over my shoulder, bouncing all the way home.
I dropped the loot in the middle of my kitchen (see below), and then realized that since this is all for next year I can’t let the kids see it. Not that Ducky would have the slightest idea, or be able to remember any of this, but Munchie would want to open everything immediately, and then spoil her surprise. As a responsible parent I could not let this happen.
I looked for some hiding spots, but the problem is I don’t have any big enough to hid a basket the same size as me, along with all sorts of other Easter paraphernalia. So I took everything and put it in our bathroom.
Maybe Hubby won’t notice. Or he will be so fascinated by Andrew Jackson he won’t care. Either way I have a feeling I am not going to be allowed to go to CVS again. And we need a third bathroom because this one clearly can’t be used anymore for the next eleven months.