So I am apartment hunting and it is frustrating as all Hell. I am generally pretty mild tempered, but right now I am about to throw my laptop out of a window.

I find a description of an apartment I like, and then they have 24 pictures of the pool area. Regardless of what my daughter will tell you, I am not a mermaid. I don’t live in water. I want to see what the actual apartment looks like. I am well aware that whatever pictures the company will post will be highly skewed in their favor, but at least I would like an idea. If you are not showing me the apartment I will suspect there is something wrong with it. Why aren’t you showing me the apartment???

Then some companies, in lieu of showing me pictures, will post floor plans. Fine. Please name your rooms accordingly. I don’t know what a retreat is. I don’t know what a preparation area is either. Kitchen? Bedroom? What function does that room serve??? Is that even a room? Is that a doorway you are trying to show with arrows and hyphen looking squiggles? And what is that small thing over there? Nevermind. I give up.

Don’t even get me started on the people who actually show the apartments. Apparently most leasing offices are open during usual business hours. Um… you mean when I am at work? If you ask me it would make more sense if they showed these things when me, and the general population who can actually afford these apartments, are not at work. Like, I don’t know, Saturdays? Maybe?

And then the amenities and policies. Washer and dryer? Yes. Yes what? In unit? In general area? Just a hook-up? What? My old apartment had a washer and dryer in the actual unit. They weren’t the best, but it was far better than trying to go elsewhere. Pets? Some are acceptable. Which ones? I am not expecting you to list all of the exotic pets people could have, but a basic yes/no on dogs and cats would be nice. Is there a pet deposit? Seriously, do I have to tell you how to run your business?

So from what I am gathering, all of the places I am interested in have very nice pools (day or night), most have gym/work-out areas, their lobbies are spotless, and the buildings look very well kept from the outside. Uh huh.